We read a parasha ago: "And Jacob sent angels before him to Esau his brother, to the red fields of the country Seir. (Gen. 32:4)" In the Zohar, the book of Radiance of the Kabbalah, Rabbi Yehuda began to teach with the verse: ''For He will give command of His angels to you, to look after you wherever you will go. (Psalms 91:11)"
The Zohar goes on to teach how the Yetzer Ha Ra is ready to ''entrap a person into doing wrong'' and then goes to ''prosecute him in the spiritual world.'' I have called this '' cosmic entrapment.''
(001) The Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal - Rabbi Arthur Segal
From CHAPTER THREE
Something that you must understand while on your path to Spiritual Renewal is that people will never be saints. Proverbs 24:16 tells us that a righteous man will fall seven times a day, but following the path of Jewish spirituality will help you get back up each time you fall.
Rabbi Landau always secretly wished that he could eat pork. Eventually, his craving became an obsession and he decided to take drastic action.
"If I go someplace where nobody knows me," he thought, "I can probably get away with it!"
So, the Rabbi took a little "vacation" to a remote tropical
On his first evening, Rabbi Landau headed out to the best restaurant in town where he ordered the evening's roast pork special. While waiting for his meal, the unthinkable happened. A member of his congregation who had not only been vacationing on the same island, but was also dining at the same restaurant on this evening, recognized Rabbi Landau and approached his table to greet him.
To make matters worse, the unwelcome guest arrived at Rabbi Landau's table at precisely the same time as his meal.
"Your special sir," said the waiter as a whole roasted pig with an apple stuffed in its mouth was placed before him.
Rabbi Landau looked sheepishly at his congregant and said, "Can you believe this place? You order an apple and it's served in a pig's mouth!"
When you are certain that you are living according to God's will (you will be taught how to be certain in a later chapter), you will discover that other people's opinions of you, good or bad, are of no consequence to you. God's opinion and your innermost, truthful feelings about yourself are all that matter. If your fellow man is pleased with who you are, it's nice, but it's just icing on the cake.
As you come into conscious contact with God and become spiritually awakened. You will find that people are attracted to your spirituality. You will also discover how easy it is to recognize and avoid those who live without God. These folks are forever stuck in Chapter Two and they will vex your spirit.
"You shall seek your God, and you shall find Him." (Deut 4:29). And the seeking is in the finding. Mitzvoth and middoth (character traits) are the nutrients for the soul and are essential for to a person's wellbeing. Those lacking these nutrients suffer from a "spirituality deficiency syndrome," which manifests itself by a pervasive state of discontent, unhappiness and holding grudges which you learned about in Chapter Two. You can easily recognize somebody who lacks mitzvoth and middoth. As our sages teach, "A person with a destructive ego is much like a goat that wears a bell around its neck to announce its whereabouts."
Living a life with God teaches us about humility, about our limits as human beings and about the limits of our friends. If you are on a path to a life guided by God's will, you will no longer have expectations of or make demands of your friends that they will not or cannot meet. You'll remember the resentments and grudges from Chapter Two, which were born out of a friend's failure to deliver on your expectations of him. However, in a life with God the resentments and grudges do not have a chance to foment because your friend can never fall short of expectations that do not exist. Your friendships have no strings attached. The only product of friendship is friendship.
When you truly understand friendship you will truly understand what Rabbi Akavya ben Mahalalel means by "Reflect upon three things and you will not come to sin. Know from where you came and where you are going and before Whom you are destined to give account and reckoning. From where have you come? From a putrid drop. Where are you going? To the place of dust, worms and maggots. Before Whom are you destined to give account and reckoning? Before the supreme King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He." (Ethics of the Fathers, Pirkei Avot 3:1).
Humility also helps turn an ingrate into a true Yahudah, meaning "one with gratitude". With gratitude you will finally understand the source of all of our blessings. Consider the miraculous event of your birth. The Talmud, in Tractate Niddah 31a reads, "Three partners produce a person; the mother, the father, and God Who gives the child the soul." Even as a physical process, birth is manifestly miraculous. We understand that everything we have comes from God. We know that He has been with us, and is with us, even when we denied Him.
A scientist came to God and said, "We have accomplished extraordinary feats. End of life, beginning of life, cloning. God, we don't need You anymore. We can do just about anything You can do. We can create man!"
God said, "Is that so? How do you do such a thing?"
"We take some dirt, mix in some enzymes, put it in test tubes, and create man," said the scientist. "Let me show you."
The scientist reaches down to scoop up some dirt from ground, but God stops him and says, "No, no, no. I want to see you do it with your own dirt."
Psalm 118:8-9 tells us: "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes." Psalm 145:14-20 teaches us: "The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who love Him; He hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him."
As we have seen, a spiritual life lets you depend on an infinite God and not on your finite self or the finite selves of others. You will not be driven by your selfish will, which leads to deflation of the ego. This deflation would help drive you to push God out of your life. Ego causes us to step on the egos of others. Knowing that you are beloved by God, and that His mercy, love and grace endure forever ensures that you will never be lonely and that you will be able to love yourself. When you defeat low self-esteem, you no longer want to play the games that we talked about in Chapter Two. You will become a Human Being, not a Human Doing. You transform from Homo Sapien to Homo Spiritus. You begin to learn humility, not only believing in God, but also learning to have trust and faith in God. More than this, you will learn to experience God in each daily task until you are one with Him with every breath.
Rabbi Simcha Bunim of Pshischa in nineteenth-century
A humble man knows when to act and when to be silent. A humble man knows when to lead and when to follow. A truly humble person says upon awakening, "Modeh Ani...Thank you God for returning my soul for yet another day."
Returning to the pie analogy that we used as an illustration in Chapter Two, when we believe in God, the pie is infinite and God is the infinite "pie-man." If I have a piece of pie and you do not, I am willing to share my piece with you because I know that God will never leave me wanting. I know that I do not need that piece of pie. Conversely, if you have a piece of pie and I do not, I will not covet your piece of pie. Whether or not you choose to share your piece of pie is of no consequence to me. I will be happy for you that you have your piece of pie, and I will never become angry if you do not share. I will not form my opinion of you based upon what you do with your piece of pie.
If I am on the bimah at a synagogue, I can invite another up to speak, even if he is ten times the public speaker than I. I know that God may have given him a gift of oratory, but God has given me plenty of gifts as well.
In a life with God, you will no longer feel envy or the need to vie for power. You will not see your fellows as obstacles and your friends will truly be your friends. "Envy, lust and pursuit of acclaim remove a person from the world." (Pirkei Avot 4:28). "A vain person seeks to compensate for his feelings of lack, by thinking himself superior to people whom he can consider to be beneath him." (Rabbeinu Yonah al HaTorah, p. 156).
Living in Jewish Spiritual Renewal allows you to accept all that exists in God's world. Acceptance doesn't mean you should be a doormat letting people walk all over you. It means that you will no longer feel compelled to react or respond to everything that happens to you. You'll find the ability to laugh and say, "Your will, not mine, God." This becomes especially significant when you experience setbacks or other negative occurrences in your life.
For example, if the service is lousy at a restaurant, or the TSA agent at airport security confiscates your "lethal'' tube of toothpaste, you will recognize these events for what they are, minor inconveniences having no real impact on your life and your future. More importantly, you will recognize and accept that these little occurrences are not deliberate attempts to offend you. Rather, they are most likely the manifestation of minor negative events beyond the control of those to whom they happen.
Take the restaurant example; think about the waiter, the chef, the manager and everybody else involved with the establishment's operation. None of them wants to get your order wrong or bring it to the table late. It is in their best interest to provide the best possible service, but mistakes happen and sometimes things go wrong. I have learned that by doing God's will and being peaceful in such situations, the restaurant owner, being a Godful person in the moment at least, will more often than not offer a discount, a complimentary meal, an apology, or some other compensation for my troubles. The old me would get angry, and I would "play God," chastising the staff and rancorously complaining to management. What was the typical result of such egotistical behavior? It surely meant an unpleasant meal, an irritable bowel, and my name on the resentment list of the restaurant owner and staff.
Acceptance means learning to go with the flow and staying in Shalom, even when everything around you seems to be helter-skelter. Acceptance means staying calm, trusting God, and doing what needs to be done without emotional drama. Acceptance means understanding that God is Adon Olam – Master of the Universe. Even in the most liberal synagogues Adon Olam is sung . Our challenge is to accept it.
"V'hu Eli, v'chai go'ali, v'tzur chevli b'et tzarah. V'hu nisi umanos li, m'nat kosi b'yom ekra."
"And He is my God, my living God. To Him I flee in time of grief, and He is my miracle and my refuge Who answers the day I shall call."
In a spiritual life you are at peace with your fellows, loving them and seeing past their defects. This is possible in a spiritual life for a number of reasons. First, you will recognize your own defects. Second, you will recognize that every person is made in God's image. The Talmud teaches that unlike a coin press, which makes each coin identical, God makes each one of us different as He is infinite (Talmud Bavli Tractate Sanhedrin 4:5). Thirdly, the best way to please a parent is to be kind to his children. Fourth, the Talmud teaches that anyone who says they love God Whom they cannot see, but does not love a human, who is made in the image of God, is a liar and a hypocrite. Finally, we are commanded to love our fellow.
Again, the commandments were not given to us for God's sake, but for our sake. Loving our fellows is a much better way to live than is hating and holding grudges.
Two Jewish cannibals are stewing a pot of food over a fire.
"Oy veh," says the first cannibal. "I really do hate my mother-in-law."
The second cannibal replies, "Nu? So leave her and just drink the chicken soup and lockshen noodles."
There are three main reasons one needs to learn to overlook the defects of one's fellows. First, the Talmud, and perhaps psychiatrists, will tell one that one is "projecting" when criticizing and finding fault with others. That is, we see our own defects in others (Talmud Bavli Tractate Kiddushin 70a). Secondly, criticism of others is an exhibition of one's own low self-esteem, a futile attempt to feel better by picking on somebody else. Most importantly, the Mishna teaches that a wise man can learn from everyone (Pirkei Avot 4:1). Does this mean that everyone is a rabbi, a teacher or a professor? It does not. But it does mean that a person who has not learned what you are learning now is your teacher. By observing that person's defects, you learn what not to do, and you learn to love that person despite the defects.
Living a life with God and being in a spiritual mindset allows you to let go and let God take over. It sets you free. You will know that the only things over which you have any control are your own thoughts and actions – your will. Everything else is out of your control. It is a delusion to think that you can manipulate or control anything else.
During a visit to the community psychiatric hospital, Morris, a journalist from the Jewish News, asked the Director how the hospital decides whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," replied the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and we ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said Morris. "A non-delusional person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"Actually," said the Director, "a non-delusional person would just pull the plug. So tell me Morris, do you want a room with an East view or a West view?"
Having looked at a life with God and a life without God, you have seen how a life without God, trying to control your own will, results in a lot of misery. If you are still with me, you have decided to align your will with God's. It is easy enough to conceive of aligning your own will with God's because you are in control of your own thoughts and actions. The greater challenge is to stop trying to control the wills of others. It may seem to work for a while, but the ultimate blowback will not be worth your effort. God gives us shalom to leave that which is in His realm to Him. He gives us koach (strength) to grow spiritually. As Proverbs 1:7 teaches: "The love of God, will give us His wisdom to know what is in our realm and what is best left to Him."
Closing this chapter brings us to the familiar parable of the cup. Is it half-empty or half-full? By living spiritually you will believe that your cup is overflowing every day with God's beneficence. You will truly see that He, as your Parent, will never let you down, not even on your worst days. You will see that when fellow humans cause you "terror by night" or fly "arrows by day" at you, "you will not be afraid." (Ps. 91:5). You will learn to actually love them so much that you will be able to pray for them, and meet any action of hatred or detraction with love.
By living a spiritual life, which relieves you of the burdens of self and ego, and by aligning your will with God's will, you will find that you are living a life full of God's help, power, love and shalom. His simple way of living will make you happy, joyous and free.
In the next chapter you will learn specifically how to do a chesbon ha nefesh, a Talmudic inventory of the soul, to find your defects of character, your fears and your resentments so that you can finally learn to be rid of them forever.
God willing we will start Chapter Four next week from:
(001) The Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal - Rabbi Arthur Segal or
A d'var Torah for the Shabbat of December 19, 2009 follows.
Shalom uvracha:
Happy Chanukah!
Rabbi Arthur Segal
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Parasha Mikeitz: Genesis 41:01-44:17
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''Life is a Masquerade''
In this Torah portion we find Joseph and his brothers in
In this parasha the recurring theme of hidden agendas and lack of assertive communication is replayed. Wearing the mask this time is Joseph, who does not reveal himself to his brothers. These poor guys are squirming and in fear for their very lives. And Joseph drags the game on and on, pulling the brothers, and then his father Jacob, closer into his net. And why not? Has Joseph had training in assertiveness?? Has Joseph had training in observing a normal family life where he could have learned trust and unconditional love?
Joseph, as we read in the previous parasha was a gifted, bright young man. But he was also was a tattletale and spoke loshan ha ra. He was proud, flaunting his new coat and his award as most favored son in front of his older brothers. He told them of his dream that one day they would bow to him. Joseph knew that his brothers could be cruel and bloody, as the massacre of the men of Shechem was only in the recent past. He indeed was a dreamer but his interpretation of dreams helped save him from Pharaoh's dungeon.
And so Joseph deals with his brothers as he saw his brothers and father and mother(s) and grandfather and grandmother deal with their family and others...with masks on. Tamra masquerades from
As we light the Hanukah menorah, at home or at Temple, and look around the room, do our friends and loved ones see the real us, or do they see the masks we wish to wear? Are we honest and assertively kind with our friends and family or do we beat around the bush, speak in half-truths and riddles, keeping up the 3,700 year old masquerade? Do we pray to God honestly, with kavenah, and with true intention, or just perfunctorily work our way through the Shabbat service? Do we mask our own true feelings from our own selves, going through life with a cloudy hidden sense of self that makes it impossible to truly know and love another?
As the glow of the Hanukah menorah and the weekly glow of our Shabbat candles light up our faces, may we all resolve to lift off the masks and facades that hide us from each other, to make our lives and our loves meaningful and wonderful, and to pray that God continues to show His face to us and that we can successfully be able to smile back at Him.
Shabbat Shalom and Happy Chanukah:
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