Finding These Defects Abhorrent To You And Asking God To Take Them From You
We have come to a pivotal point in your Jewish Spiritual Renewal. You now understand that living a life without God is a selfish life, putting you at odds with others and with God's universe. You have, through the process of completing your chesbon ha nefesh, an inventory of your soul, taken a hard look at your character defects including your resentments and grudges. You have learned to do vidui, confessing your sins to God and to a fellow human being.
Now it is time to ask God to help you remove these defects. We use the word "remove" as opposed to the word "destroy" because temptation will always be around you. The Talmud tells us that as we grow closer to God, our yetzer ha ra grows even stronger, that it actually chases us. God never chases us. He doesn't nag us to do good. He sent us prophets millennia ago to guide us. But since those ancient times, He doesn't advise us unless we ask Him for His Guidance. The yetzer ha ra, however, is always speaking loudly to us. We need God, through prayer and meditation, to keep us on track. We will discuss this in subsequent chapters.
In the Talmud Bavli Tractate Sukkah 52b, Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish says: "The evil inclination overpowers a person every single day, trying to kill him. Were it not for God coming to his aid, no person would be able to win against his evil inclination." The yetzer ha ra is "the collective name for the drives and attitudes which interfere with man's search for spirituality and closeness to God." (Rabbi Aharon Feldman, The Juggler and the King, p. 21).
So how do you remove your character defects? In Judaism, the word for sin is the Hebrew "chet." It is actually an archery term meaning "to miss the mark." In life nobody is a perfect marksman who hits the bull's-eye every time. We will often miss the mark and produce chet. Our goal is to grow spiritually so that we miss the mark less or worse, and our chets become smaller and smaller.
Rabbi Bloom caught two of his rabbinical students gambling and drinking on Sabbath. The next day, Rabbi Bloom called them into his office and asked them what was going on. They immediately confessed to having given in to weakness and agreed that they deserved some form of punishment for their sin.
Rabbi Bloom thought a lot about this and then came up with the answer. He bought two bags of dried peas from the delicatessen and told them, "Put these in your shoes and walk on them for a week to remind yourselves how hard life can be when you turn away from God."
A few days later, the two students met each other in the street. One had a pronounced limp and had dark circles under his eyes. He looked very tired and weary. On the other hand, the other was the same as he had been before.
"Hey," said the first. "How is it that you are walking so easily? Why didn't you do as the Rabbi asked and put the peas in your shoes?"
"I did," said the other. "But I boiled them first."
The first step in the process of tashlich, which is asking God to help cast away and remove your defects, is to find your defects abhorrent and objectionable. It is not enough for your spouse or your friends to tell you that you are defective, or to read in the Torah or Talmud that you are breaking some rule. You have to recognize that what you are doing is bad for your own sake.
You must truly want to change. You have to firmly believe that you no longer want to be resentful. You have to recognize that you have also done wrong by the people you resent. You may resent somebody due to jealousy, for example, but you must realize that the jealousy began with you. You need to truly understand that living your life based on self and ego is not the way you want to live. You need to understand that a life full of selfishness, self-seeking, self-centeredness is not healthy for you. Your dishonesty to others and to yourself, with fears that lead you to jealousy, coveting, gossip, theft and withholding kindness and love, is not the way God wants you to live.
Without this vital step, you will follow in the footsteps of generations of Jews who have done Tashlich at the river's edge, only to carry the same grudges and character defects back up the riverbank. If you have taken a good, hard, honest look at your chesbon ha nefesh, made vidui, and do not like what you see, you are ready for the actual tashlich. This can be done anytime, not just at Rosh ha Shana.
Let's get started. You will need crackers or matzah and a Sharpie marker. You will also need to go to a body of water that has fish living in it. This will be explained shortly. Starting to sound like fun, isn't it?
First, write each defect that you have recorded in your chesbon: dishonesty, resentfulness, gossiping, etc., on a piece of the matzah. Rabbi Moses Isserles, co-author of the Shulchan Aruch (Code of Jewish law), explains: "The deeps of the sea saw the genesis of Creation; therefore to throw bread into the sea is an appropriate tribute to the Creator to rid ourselves of sin." (Torat ha-'Olah 3:56).
The Tashlich Crumb List:
For ordinary sins – white bread
For exotic sins - French bread
For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel
For complex sins - multi-grain
For twisted sins – pretzels
The word "tashlich" means, "You will cast away." In this context, it refers to a custom dating from at least as early as the fourteenth century, but probably much earlier, based on the last verses of the Book of Micah 7:18-20:
"Who is a God like You? You forgive sins and overlook transgressions.
For the survivors of Your People; He does not retain His anger forever, for He loves Kindness; He will return and show us mercy, and overcome our sins.
And You will cast into the depths of the sea all their sins; You will show kindness to Jacob and mercy to Abraham, As You did promise to our fathers of old."
Consequently, Jews have for many generations gone to bodies of water and recited tashlich prayers, which consist of Psalm 130 and the verses of Micah, to symbolize our wish to get rid of our sins and to be forgiven by God.
Tashlich is preferably recited alongside a body of water containing fish, to remind us that just as the water in which they live protects the fish, we pray to God for his protection. Also, just as fish swim freely through the water, but can suddenly be caught in a net, we swim freely through life, but can become entangled in a net of sin. "As the fishes that are taken in an evil net." (Ecclesiastes 9:12). And as the fishes' eyes are always open, we pray that God will help us keep a vigilant watch over ourselves.
For sins of indecision - waffles
For sins committed in haste - matzah
For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes - Shmurah matzah
For sins of chutzpah - fresh bread
For substance abuse/marijuana - stoned wheat
For substance abuse/heavy drugs - poppy seed
The Talmud tells us that God has forgiven us for our sins when He places us in a position to commit the same sin and we resist the temptation. The purpose of the tashlich ceremony is to facilitate our desire for renewal, our desire to change, to return to God and to do the teshuvah, the amends, to people we have hurt with our defects
The Today, Thursday 2/25/10 is Tannit Esther, the fast of Esther. The day before Purim is usually observed as a fast day, called the fast of Esther. However, when Purim falls on Sunday, as this year, and the day before Purim is Shabbat, it is not permissible to fast on Shabbat. In this case, we observe the Fast of Esther on the Thursday before Purim, which is today.
There are various opinions as to the reason for this fast. In the Megilah we read that before approaching the King on behalf of her people, Esther tells Mordechai to proclaim a three day fast for all Jews in the Capital City of Shushan. Many are of the opinion, that this fast commemorates the fast which Esther proclaimed.
Other sages are of a different opinion as to the origin of this fast. The Megilah tells us that on the 13th of Adar the Jewish people battled their enemies.
Traditionally, when Jews had to fight a war they would fast and pray to God for His help. Today's fast, Taanit Esther, on the 13th of Adar recalls the fast of the Jewish people on the day they fought their enemies. In either case, this fast is much more lenient than other fasts and can be avoided for those whom it is difficult to fast.
Today, at the Mincha prayer, we remember the "Machtzit HaShekel," the "half Shekel" given during the times of the Holy Temple. Today, before the Mincha service, one will find "charity plates" in synagogue, in which to perform this mitzvah by giving three half dollars (or whatever currency in that country), or the equivalent sum. It is preferable to give for all members of the family. The money is then distributed for charity.
The Megillah will be read Saturday night and again Sunday morning. Everyone -- men, women and children-- must hear the Megillah reading. Listening to the Megillah is so important that according to Halacha (Jewish law), one should not miss even one word of the Megillah.
Women are exempt from most mitzvoth which have a time factor. Yet, the Megillah, which is read only one day a year, Purim, women are required to hear it just like men. Haman's decree was to kill every Jew - men, women and children. Since the miracle of Purim affected women just the same as men, women are also required to hear the Megillah reading.
Mordechai was involved in the story of Purim together with Esther. Yet the Megillah is called "Megilat Esther" - "Scroll of Esther"? The Megillah tells us that Esther's Jewish identity was originally not known, so she was not affected by Haman's decree. In spite of this, Esther risked death, revealing her Jewish identity, to plead for her people. Since Esther put her life in danger more than Mordechai, the Megillah is named after her. Also, Esther was the one who insisted that the story of Purim be recorded and be added to the Holy Scriptures, thus, it was named "Megilat Esther."
