Thursday, May 27, 2010

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: SHLACH: LOW SELF ESTEEM: 12 SPIES

 RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: SHLACH: LOW SELF ESTEEM: 12 SPIES
 
RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL : JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: Ha Amokat Ha Daat: MEDITATION (3 of 3)
Jewish Spiritual Renewal: Shabbat 6/05/10: A Path of Transformation
 
The JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL class list is hosted by Shamash: The Jewish Network, a service of Hebrew College. 
 
Shalom Dear Talmidim, Chaverim v' Rabbanim:
 
 
To those new to the class, Baruch ha Ba, welcome! You can access last week's class, and from there work back with links to the first class, at Rabbi Arthur Segal: RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL : JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: Ha Amokat Ha Daat: MEDITATION or http://rabbiarthursegal.blogspot.com/2010/05/rabbi-arthur-segal-jewish-spiritual_6997.html .
 
''Malicious talk is like an arrow. A person who unsheathes a sword can regret his intention and return it to its sheath. But the arrow cannot be retrieved.'' (Midrash Tehillim). We need to be so careful with our thoughts, as we discussed last week. Negative thoughts, that we are not immediately 'on top of,' will lead to negative actions against others. When we think poorly of another, or hold a grudge, our lips will eventually slip. Lashon ha ra, literally the evil tongue, is akin to murder, even worse. ''Why?'', ask our sages. Because we can murder someone with a sword just once, but we can murder someone over and over with our tongues.
 
Meditation is all about us listening to Good Orderly Direction from the Divine. We are to be lamp lighters.  Rabbi Shalom Dov Ber of Lubavitch says: "It is not enough for one to feel spiritually enlightened, warm and elevated.   One must use their own spiritual fire and enthusiasm, to make an effort to kindle the candle/soul of another by bringing them also closer to God and His Torah and Mitzvoth."
 
Our quest is to attain Jewish Spiritual Renewal.The rabbis teach: '' Animals do not gaze at the stars and angels are confined to the realm of the spirit, but Man is God's bridge between heaven and earth. Our bodies are formed from the dust, our souls are of the essence of God. We alone can look at a physical world and see spiritual life and beauty. We who are beyond both heaven and earth, form and matter, spirit and body -- we alone can fuse the two. '' Being spiritual does not mean giving up the material, but rather bringing spirituality into the material world. Or better said, recognizing the spiritual that is already in the material world.
 
Along with learning to restrain tongue and pen, is learning to forgive. We discussed forgiveness when we made a list of all those we resent when we made of chesbon ha nefesh, our inventory of our souls. Holding onto grudges, as we read then, is like an acid eating away at the container. When we hold a resentment toward another, we are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is as strong as our yetzer ha ra, our evil inclination.  Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.
 
''Between a stimulus and response there is a space.  In that space is our power to choose our response.  In our response lies our growth and our freedom.  The last of human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. [ Dr. Viktor Frankl ]''  If we are to live a life of shlema, integration, shalom, we have to constantly work against the impulse to respond to anger and hatred with our own angry or hateful response. As mentioned these folks who treat others poorly, are spiritually disconnected. Treat them as you would anyone with a mental disorder. Pray for them for healing.
 
When folks treat us nastily, we respond to them with loving firmness. Then we teach them and are indeed doing God's will of being  a '' lamp lighter,'' as taught above. If we respond with anger and hatred back, we are only teaching them that their methods are justifiable.
 
But for others, their acting cruel, may not just be purely a spiritual disconnect. There are many among us that were not raised, not even  taught by their religious leaders, the proper way to behave. These folks have the status of tinokim shenishbah, kidnapped children whose kidnappers reared them with non-Torah (Bible) ideals, and whose transgressions are committed out of ignorance.  Such people may be in the category of both amecha, your people and amito, his fellow.  It is our obligation to educate them with love, care, and sensitivity and it is strictly forbidden to speak lashon ha ra against them.
 
We need to understand that living a spiritual life, in a world that seems just ignorant of God's simple will for us, is work. Once we accept that it is work , it is avodah, then our being eved ha Shem, servants of God's will, is no longer  a burden. As the sages teach, when we pick up the yoke of God, all other human yokes fall from our shoulders.
 
Having strife, makloket, in our lives, is not the way God wishes us to be. The Mishna R'Eliezer Ch.4 teaches that :'' The Holy One, Blessed is He, relented regarding idol worship, but was unrelenting regarding strife.'' Paganism began during the time of Enosh (Gen. 4:26) but God did not punish them. But in the time of Noah, when folks hated each other, and hamas (terror) was everywhere, God punished with The Flood. God was forgiving when the Hebrews worshipped the Golden Calf, but was punishing when Korach started his makloket against Moses. And when the idol of Michah was erected, God did not punish because the people were at peace with one another. But when the Ten tribes of the north started makloket with the Two tribes of the south, God let punishment come to all of them via the Assyrians and Babylonians.
 
Now I am not one to believe that God is a punishing God, per se. The Talmud teaches that our bad actions cause us a bad life. But the point of the above is that Judaism would rather have folks not be religious, yet be caring to one another, then to be following the strict letter of our laws, and be uncaring. And worse of course, which we see so much today, are folks who are not in love and in awe of God, who ALSO treat their fellows horridly!
 
Forbidden speech  is explicitly forbidden by the Torah— ona'at devarim (hurting people with words), verbal abuse. Only recently in social work and psychology has society come to recognize a fact which the Hebrew people have known since the Torah was given: words can hurt — and they can hurt a lot; sometimes even more than physical abuse. ''A man shall not cause hurt to his fellow" (Lev. 25:17).
 
Let us try to learn to meditate, to increase our spirituality, and truly understand that we are all interconnected, and when we hurt another, with words, actions, or being cliquish and exclusive,  we are only hurting ourselves. Let us forgive those that we perceive to have harmed us, and live in harmony and shalom with our fellows, sharing God's magnificent universe.
 
Let us explore the final third of the Chapter on Meditation.
 
 

Chapter Nine: Learning to Meditate - Ha Amokat Ha Daat

Explaining Prophet, Nevi, Means Open

Explaining Mitzraim, Egypt, Bondage, Means Narrow, Closed

When We Are Free Of Ego, Resentment, Selfishness, We Are Open To Hear God.

Instructions On How To Meditate

 

You never know what the next moment will bring. But you must have belief, faith, trust, and experience with God to know that wherever He takes you, it is always for the good, even if you do not understand it at the time. King David called life's trials and tribulations "afflictions of love."

"If a person sees that he is suffering, he should examine his conduct. If he has examined his actions and found no wrongdoing, he should attribute the suffering to bitul Torah (neglecting Torah study)." As it says, "Fortunate is the person whom You, God, afflict; You teach him from Your Torah." (Ps. 94:12). "And if he finds that he is not guilty of neglecting Torah study, then these afflictions must be 'Afflictions of Love (Yesorin shel Ahava).'" As it says in Talmud Bavli Tractate Beracoth 5a: "God rebukes those whom He loves." (Prov. 3:12).

Your faith in God led you to do the chesbon ha nefesh gadol honestly and you were not afraid to be naked before God. You learned to find your character defects abhorrent and you did tashlich to cast them into open waters, asking God to take them away. A weight was lifted from your shoulders and you were cleansed and purified. You now monitor your life on a daily basis with a chesbon ha nefesh katon and you have made amends with the people harmed by your character defects through selicah and teshuvah. You have done your teshuvah to a forgiving God, and you have learned to pray to God.

 

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So, you tell me that your mother says your prayers for you each night. That's very commendable. What does she actually say?"

The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

 

Your channel to God is now open. The Hebrew word for open is nevi, which is derived from the word for Prophet. The Hebrew word for Prophets is Nevi'im, one of three sections of the TaNaK. The blockage is gone and as you continue through your life you will work to prevent new defects or resentments from causing new blockages. You now ask God each day to keep you from ego, resentments, selfishness and dishonesty.

Now you are prepared to meditate and hear God's Guidance.

"Your mind is a fertile field, but first its soil must be softened and furrowed. Open it to the wisdom that rains down from the heavens, let the dew of Torah sink into your soul, the seeds laid by tzaddikim enter your heart. Learn to lie still as they awaken and take root. Quietly await the spring. In the place of thorns and a tangle of weeds will grow a bountiful garden. Where once wild and brazen delusions sprang forth, a tightly focused beam of light will shine," says Rabbi Freeman.

The Talmud Bavli in Tractate Shabbat 10a tells us that one of God's names is Shalom (peace), but to Jews Shalom has a deeper meaning than does the English word "peace." In English, peace means the absence of conflict. In Hebrew that is but one attribute of peace. Peace, or shalom, comes from the root word, Shlema, which means wholeness.

Wholeness means integration. Our minds, souls, limbs and bodies all work in synch with one another. We cannot teach Torah class, for example, while holding a grudge against someone.

Meditation's goal is to hear God's guidance for achieving this integration, or Shalom. When you become integrated and are at one with Shalom, you will be at one with God.

 

One Friday night I was in the shul and the Rabbi was giving his usual sermon. At the end of his speech, he told the congregation, "Before we continue, I would like to inform you that our shul has decided to collect goods for the most needy people in our area. It's for a good cause and we need your help. Please bring us this Sunday anything you have lying around your house that you can spare or have no great need for. For example, I'm sure that you can all think of something of which you have an excess."

Behind me I heard the voice of an old lady saying to her neighbor seated next to her, "Yes…tsouris." (A word referring to all problems, trouble, grief, aggravation and heartache).

 

When we are confused we live the mantra, "don't just sit there, do something!"  When we are in true shalom, we live the words of King David, from Psalm 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God." By being still, we learn to hear, shema, what God is telling us to do.

How do you know if what you hear comes from God and not your own ego? There is a simple four-way test that has been used for millennia. Check your Guidance. Is it based in:

1.      Love?

2.      Honesty?

3.      Altruism?

4.      Purity?

If not, you are talking to yourself. God wouldn't tell you to start the Crusades, but Pope Urban II, by saying, "Deus Vult" (God wills it) started hundreds of years of death and destruction.

So to hear God, you have to learn to "unbusy" yourself. Sight is the dominant sense to the rest of the world, but for Jews seeing is not necessarily believing. We are taught Shema…listening. At Sinai we said, "Na'ashe v'ni'shmah" - we will do and we will hear (Deut. 5:24). To be spiritual, you need to shut out the noise in your mind and in your heart. All that you have learned to this point will help you do this.

When learning to meditate you must first learn how to breathe. This may sound strange at first because breathing is something you do automatically without thinking about it. Hey, look at that! You're doing it now! When you meditate, though, you concentrate on your breathing.

Take a breath through your nose and hold it for a count of ten. Then let it out slowly through your mouth for another count of ten. Repeat this until you to hear nothing in your head but your breathing. "Make friends with your breath, make friends with your body. Little by little by little, make friends with what's arising. Keep the awareness intense and a little more intense. And pretty soon, by familiarity, fear retreats," says Norman Fischer.

Practice this twice a day to get yourself breathing correctly for meditation and learn to clear your mind. Do this for a week or two. Do not give up. Everything takes practice. "The ear is given only what it is capable of hearing." (Avot of Rabbi Nathan A2). When God is ready for you to hear, you will begin to hear.

Follow your breath as it comes in through your nostrils. Hear it as it passes the throat and into your lungs, filling them with life that God has given you. Hear the breath go into your belly. When the count of ten has passed, hear the air in the reverse process: belly, lungs, throat and out of your mouth. Each breath is cleansing. 

Meditation does take discipline and dedication but so does every other task you have undertaken so far for Jewish Spiritual Renewal. Pray to God for patience.

Jewish meditation is not a "new age" gimmick. It is part of Judaism. There is evidence that Judaism has had meditative practices from the earliest times. For instance, in the Torah, the patriarch Isaac is described as going "lasuach" in the field – a term understood by all commentators as some type of meditative practice (Genesis 24:63). Similarly, there are indications throughout the TaNaK that Judaism always contained a central meditative tradition.

Famous rabbis throughout the Middle Ages all had their own meditation practices and books have been written about their techniques. Some of these are Abraham Abulafia, Isaac the Blind, Azriel of Gerona, Abraham ben Maimonides, Moses Cordovero, Yosef Karo, Isaac Luria and Nachman of Breslov.

"Hisbonenut" is a common Hebrew term for meditation. The ancient sages said, "your soul will become like a chariot." "The spirit of God spoke to me, and His word was on my lips." (Samuel II 23:2). Hisbonenut is our ability to analyze Guidance in depth. To let the mind be still and concentrate without effort is meditation. In Hebrew this is, "Ha Amokat Ha Daat," which literally means, "the delving of the concentration."

As you practice breathing, be still. If distracting thoughts come to mind, gently ask them to be quiet and continue.

Once you are comfortable with your breathing and stillness, you will add what the Eastern religions call a mantra. For our discussion, we'll start with one from Ethics of the Fathers (Pirkei Avot 1:2). You can pick you own of course as time goes on, or have different ones for different times and seasons of your life. For now, concentrate on this: "The world rests upon three fundamental pillars, Torah, Avodah and Gemilut Chassadim…or Acquiring wisdom, the service of the heart and deeds of loving kindness." Just say the words, "Torah, Avodah, Chesed" over and over, either out loud or silently. Don't just say the words, though, concentrate on them.

Torah, as we learned, is more than just the Five Books of Moses. It is our great wealth of knowledge. God being omniscient, Who knows all, will always give you the best Guidance. "The beginning of wisdom comes from the love and awe of God." (Psalm 111:10).

"Avodah" literally means work or service. It originally referred to Temple service, the animal and grain sacrifices, but our Talmudic Rabbis said that the "service of the heart" replaces the Temple service. "And what is the service of the heart? Prayer." (Talmud Bavli Tractate Ta'anit 2a).

Gemilut Chassadim are deeds of loving kindness. We will use the word, chesed (kindness) in our mantra. This short word encompasses the edict of loving your fellow as yourself, which as both Rabbis Hillel and Akiva taught is the sum of Torah, including the Talmud and other texts.

For one week, practice this breathing technique and repeat the three-word mantra twice a day following your prayer sessions as learned in the preceding chapter.

Now you are ready to ask God a simple question. "Dear God, what is Your will for me today?" Have some paper and a pencil or pen handy. Keep this question in your mind as you breathe and recite the mantra. When an answer comes to you, write down exactly what you hear. Then apply the four-way described on page 74.

As you master this question, you will be able to ask God more vexing questions in your life. In the beginning, it is a good idea to run these by your rabbi to make sure you have heard Guidance and not your ego. If you do not have a spiritual rabbi, I will be happy to assist you.

As already mentioned, meditation's goal is to have you attain a closeness with God and a personal relationship with Him.  You want to be able to access His Guidance and wisdom. You want His help to become integrated, shlema, and live a life of Shalom and serenity. Knowing that God is in charge means that bad things may still happen, but you will not be shaken.

When praying and speaking to God, and when meditating and listening to God, our very words are ruach ha kodesh, the holy spirit of God. This comes from the spark of God that lives inside each of us. The more you practice prayer and meditation, the larger that spark becomes until it is a flame of God's love, kindness, mercy, wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and strength inside of you. As soon as you make prayer and meditation regular practices, you will receive Guidance from God. You will find the right way to meditate and speak to God by being honest with Him and by keeping your prayers fresh with kavenah, spiritual intention.

The goal of spirituality is to rid yourself of all fears, worries, jealousy and resentments; to learn to meet detractors, and even hate, with love. When living spiritually, you will not be afraid of earthly powers. Nothing will frighten you. God is the only one before Whom you will stand with awe, love and reverence.

With spirituality you attain genuine humility. You learn to place your soul into prayer and into all that you do. Self and ego will be negated, and you will be able to live without any thought of personal gain. You can do your best, trusting God, without being attached to outcomes. You will no longer see your fellows as competitors, even if they do.

Pirkei Avot 6:1 says this about Guidance from God: "Rabbi Meir would say, 'Whoever studies Torah for Torah's sake alone, merits many things; not only that, but the creation of the entire world is worthwhile for him alone. He is called friend, beloved, lover of God, lover of humanity, rejoicer of God, rejoicer of humanity. The Torah clothes him with humility and awe; makes him fit to be righteous, a chassid, correct and faithful; distances him from sin and brings him close to merit. From him, people enjoy counsel and wisdom, understanding and power, as is stated, 'Mine are counsel and wisdom, I am understanding, mine is power. The Torah grants him sovereignty, dominion, and jurisprudence. The Torah's secrets are revealed to him, and he becomes as an ever-increasing wellspring and as an unceasing river. He becomes modest, patient and forgiving of insults. The Torah uplifts him and makes him greater than all creations.'"

When meditating – this will take some time – you will feel your sense of self and body disappear, as if you are floating in God's all-capable loving Hands. Then you will have very clear Guidance from God and will discover His instruction, Torah. This can be achieved through meditation and it is a joyous experience. This joy is nothing like the happiness you have experienced before. You will become spiritually awakened and at one with God and His universe.

In the next chapter you will learn to develop a conscious contact with God throughout each moment of your day.

Baruch ha Shem we will continue with the  chapter 10 of  (001) The Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal - Rabbi Arthur Segal  or http://www.shop.jewishspiritualrenewal.net/product.sc;jsessionid=5C09106E770F711A24A135C59A7E346E.qscstrfrnt03?productId=1&categoryId=1 next week. Below is a d'var Torah for 6/5/2010.

Shalom uvracha:

Rabbi Arthur Segal
www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org
Via Shamash Org on-line class service
Jewish Renewal
www.jewishrenewal.info
Jewish Spiritual Renewal
Jewish Spirituality
Eco Judaism
Hilton Head Island, SC, Bluffton, SC, Savannah, GA
 

Parasha Shelach: Numbers 13:01-15:41

Rabbi Arthur Segal
www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org
Via Shamash Org on-line class service
Jewish Renewal
www.jewishrenewal.info
Jewish Spiritual Renewal
Jewish Spirituality
Eco Judaism
Hilton Head Island, SC, Bluffton, SC, Savannah, GA

"You've Got Marty Feldman Eyes"

My apologies to songstress Kim Carnes and her hit "Bette Davis Eyes." I hope you remember the funny actor of blessed memory, Marty Feldman. He played Igor in Mel Brooks's Young Frankenstein. Marty had those bulging buggy eyes, which I will weave into this D'var Torah later on.

Parasha Shelach gets it name from the Hebrew words with which it begins. "Send forth (shelach) men, if you please, and let them spy out the land of Canaan." Moses assembles 12 men, one from each tribe, to spy on what is to eventually become Eretz Israel. Ten of the men return with a discouraging report. The other two, however, are very positive. This parasha relates how the people listen to the ten with the bad news. God punishes the Children of Israel with 39 more years in the desert in which time this weak generation will die out.

There are some very subtle wordings in this portion that need to be parsed in order to understand the deeper meaning. A first hint is given in the word following shelach. This word is "lecha." It literally means "for yourself." God gave Moses permission to send spies if Moses needed reassurance. The word used for the spies is "regelem." Regel is a foot and the word regelem literally means "walkers." The Hebrew word, "yeturu," is used to mean "to spy." It is from the root word "tur," which means, "to explore." It is used 12 times in this parasha alone, yet only ten times in the rest of the entire Torah. The regelem's orders are to look (u'reitem) at the land. One of the spies is Hosea bin Nun. He is later given the name Joshua by Moses by adding the letter Yud.

Note the Hebrew "bin" for "son of" instead of the usual "ben." Nachmanides of 13th century Spain said this is foreshadowing Joshua's role by calling him Binun (wise one), which is from the root word Binah, which means understanding. Joshua was one of the two positive spies. The Midrash says that Joshua's new Yud came from the Yud that God took from Sarai's name when he renamed her Sarah. Moses knew that Hosea would need God's help, Rashi says, in dealing with his fellow spies, so Moses renamed him with a name meaning, "may God save you."

Here is the scenario. Moses and the people have left Egypt a year ago. They just celebrated Passover a year after the first one when they were saved from Pharaoh and the angel of death who killed all the first born in Egypt. They are only miles from the land of Canaan. They have God on their side. God has promised them the land. They have seen God do miracles on a daily basis. Yet Moses decided that he needed to send out human spies to double-check on God. Even though God had promised Israel and Moses "a land flowing with milk and honey," Moses asks his spies to see if the land is "fertile or lean? Are there trees in it or not?" (Num. 13:20).

So what happened when the spies returned? Ten of them reported to Moses the people (Num 13:25) that the land flows with milk and honey. They even brought back fruit samples. Then the Torah uses another word, "ahfaht." This word means "but." It is a qualifier. They negate the positive words about the land with this but.

The spies related stories of giants, fortresses, and a strong unconquerable people occupying the land. They saw many dead people and said the land "devours its inhabitants." (Num. 13:32). They concluded their report with, "We were like grasshoppers in our eyes, and so we were in their eyes." (Num. 13:33). Please note that they said in our eyes.

Caleb and Joshua are the two of the twelve spies that give good reports. But the other ten have rallied the people into a frenzy. There is actually a national hysteria. The Torah reports that the "entire assembly" (Num. 14:01) wished they had died in Egypt and wanted to appoint a new leader and return there (Num. 14:02-04). So of course God gets upset. He threatens the entire people with extermination (Num. 14:12). Moses pleads with God. The people's punishment is plea-bargained down to spending 40 years in the wilderness. The slave mentality of the older generation will die there and a new free generation will be allowed into the land. They decide on 40 years because the spies were away for 40 days.

I would like to point out that the authors of the Torah blamed the previous parasha's insurrection on the "mixed multitude riff raff" that followed the Israelites. But here the Talmud takes the words of the Torah (entire assembly) and says it was just two men, Dason and Aviram, who wanted to dump Moses and return to Egypt (Talmud Bavli Tractate Nedarim 64B). We will read more about these two men in the next parasha.

As we can see, this mission was doomed to failure before it began. Moses would have been better off not sending spies at all. God told Moses he could send spies if he needed to do this for himself. Moses, of all people, should have trusted God with blind faith. The 19th century Rabbi Zvi Kalisher writes that Moses sent spies hoping they would come back with a report about the strength of the Canaanites, so that when Israel conquered them, they would realize another miracle of God. Rashi, in discussing Deut. 1:21-23, says that the people forced Moses to send spies. If he did not do so, they would have thought he has hiding something. It is like one asking to test drive a donkey before buying it and being told no. If one is told yes, please even take the donkey up a big hill and down a deep valley, one gets confidence in his purchase and may not even want to test the animal at this point.

When the spies walked the land, they saw many funeral processions. They assumed that this was a violent land. The Midrash says that God sent a small plague into Canaan to distract the inhabitants so that the spies could travel unnoticed. The spies, however, interpreted the events the way they wished to perceive them. The spies saw the people living in walled cities. Rashi said this is a sign of weakness of faith. If people dwell in open cities, they think of themselves as strong. Rashi says the spies misinterpreted this fact. The spies also brought back big grape clusters, giant pomegranates and huge figs. They did this not to show how wonderful the land was, but how freakish it was.

Rabbi Elya Bloch of the 20th century wrote that when one's intentions are bad, nothing can persuade him of the truth. Eight spies carried the giant grapes, one carried the pomegranates and one carried the figs. Caleb and Joshua, a Midrash teaches, did not carry back these fruits, as they knew they would be used to demonstrate negativity.

On another interesting note, the Talmudic rabbis say that the Torah says there are three ways to acquire land: payment, deed or chazakah. Chazakah means performing an action that demonstrates ownership, such as harvesting fruits. The rabbis state that when Moses asks the spies to bring back fruits (Num. 13:20) he was asking them to legally, according to Jewish law, establish ownership of the land. The question as to why the negative spies, who did not believe they could conquer the land, harvested fruits, and the two positive spies, who thought they could conquer the land, did not harvest fruits is left unasked and unanswered. The Talmud Bavli in Tractate Sotah 35A discusses whether the spies actually overheard giants call them grasshoppers. The rabbis say that the spies said the Canaanites said, "There are people-ants crawling around in the fields." The rabbis may be missing a good lesson of psychology here. It is not really important what the Canaanites thought. What we need to focus on is how the spies thought of themselves. They obviously were in a trap of spiritual self-devaluation. They not only lacked faith in God, they lacked self-esteem. They saw themselves as grasshoppers. They had Marty Feldman's bug eyes.

 Rabbi Yaakov Kamensky of 20th century New York City wrote, "If you hold yourself to be a shmateh (rag), others will hold you to be a shmateh as well." If one thinks he will have no chance, he will have no chance. Should our modern psychiatrists call a self-esteem problem the grasshopper syndrome?

In her poem, Shelach, poetess Chana Andler wrote:

Twelve spies went out

To view the Promised Land.

Only two returned.

The rest were lost along the way,

Prey to doubt and indecision,

The certainty

That they were little men,

Too small to face the future

God might ask.

Their bones were left

Behind in the desert

To bleach away their fear.

A stern reminder

Of the consequences

Of little faith.

 

How often do we

Play out this drama,

Measuring what can be

By what has been before?

We see the front

That others wear,

The illusion of perfection,

And judge ourselves

Inadequate to the task,

Incapable of achieving

Such heights of glory.

They are giants

To our children's eyes,

Puffed with virtues

We cannot possess.

 

But what in truth

Was ever asked of us

That we could not survive

Were we only

To hold our ground

And let the Spirit

Carry us along?

It's folly to gauge our strength

Against the gods and monsters

We create to undermine our dreams.

To judge our soul's potential

By the small amount

We can perceive.

 

Twelve spies went out

To view the Promised Land,

But only two returned.

May we find our way out

And back again,

Untouched

By what we think

We see.

Rashi writes, "The heart and the eyes are the spies of the body, that is, they lead a person to transgress: the eyes see, the heart covets, and the body transgresses." Or, as King Solomon is credited with writing in Ecclesiastes 2:14, "The wise man's eyes are in his head, and the fool walks in darkness." Self-image is how we see ourselves. It is also how we think others see us. Self-esteem is our internal feeling and evaluation of ourselves based on our perceived self-image. Once we get some negative statements in our head that we may have learned in our childhood, we do not physically need to hear them again. The tapes become hardwired in our minds. Again and again those negative statements unconsciously repeat. It is like having a constant heckler in your mind. Psychologists say that one needs about 20 positive statements about ourselves to offset a negative personal statement.

The best way of offsetting negative self-talk is to remind yourself that you have the internal resources to handle whatever challenges life gives you. When one feels powerless and sees others as giants, one will develop low self-esteem. Instead of dealing with situations directly and assertively, one will use passive-aggressive behaviors. The spies did this. Instead of reporting directly to their boss, Moses, they went directly to the people with their bad report.

When one has good self-esteem combined with a faith in God, one acts assertively and with kindness. One is not passive, or aggressive, or acts passive-aggressively. One does not blame others for their problems but takes responsibility for them. There is no room for apathy or pessimism, and one's life has vision, focus, commitment and self-control. One trusts one's self and has a realistic trust of others. One has the confidence to choose friends who are safe and who will not injure or exploit. One learns to be self-nurturing and not looking for others to be parents. One is autonomous and has a strong sense of identity. And one relates closely and intimately with others and yet knows when to limit closeness.

Positive self-esteem allows one to own up to one's failures, fears and weaknesses. It is not a cocksure attitude that one cannot do wrong. Conversely, good self-esteem would enable one to be able to admit wrongdoing, apologize and do teshuvah. Self-esteem requires continual monitoring and feeding one's head with good statements. The rabbis tell of one of their elders describing his inner struggle. He said, "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights with the good dog all the time." When he was asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, "The one I feed the most."

We are all regelem. We are all walking and journeying through life. All of us will have a journey that is not balanced or straight. King David writes in Psalm 73:02, "My feet nearly faltered, my steps were almost washed away!" The Rabbi Judah the Prince (ha Nasi), the redactor of the Mishna circa 200 C.E., in Pirkei Avot (2:01) reminds us that the right way to walk is one that is in a way that brings honor. If we try to keep to this path in whatever situation we find ourselves, no matter how hard that may seem at the time, our esteem for ourselves will always be high.

The Torah recognizes this. It actually developed a physical "string around the finger" to remind us to think positive thoughts. This idea was commanded to us after the sin of the spies. I am referring to the mitzvah of Tzitzit.

Tzitzit are fringes. It is from the root word that means to peer at something intently. In Numbers 15:39 we are told to wear them on our four-cornered garments so we "will not go astray (saturu) after your hearts and eyes." The 12 men were asked to spy (latur). The root words are the same. We are asked to see the tzitzit (u'reitem oso), and the spies were sent to see the land (u'reitem et ha Aretz). There is an interesting twist to the mitzvah of wearing tzitzit. It is optional! Numbers 15:38 commands us to put tzitzit on the four corners of a four-cornered garment. There is no rule commanding us to wear a four-cornered garment. Traditional Jews have taken it upon themselves to wear a four-cornered garment so that they can fulfill the mitzvah of wearing tzitzit. Although wearing tzitzit is optional, there are 12 chapters in the Shulchan Aruch, the Set Table of Jewish law, on the rules of tzitzit.

The sending of the spies and the wearing of tzitzit were both optional to us. How we look at things and the conclusions we draw from our spying eyes has been always left up to us as individuals. We are capable of seeing very far, writes Rabbi Frand, but only if we open up our eyes and be honest enough to see things as they really are.

Rabbi Gunther Plaut translates the last half of the verse of Numbers 15:39 as "so that you do not follow your heart and eyes in your lustful urge." The Art Scroll TaNaK translates it as "not explore after your heart and after your eyes after which you stray." The Kings James Bible reads, "that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring." While I can usually find mistranslation in the King James Version, it has in this case the best rendering of this passage. The Hebrew word "zonem" is from the Hebrew word for harlot, zonah.

Prostitutes are paid, or so I am told, to tell men what they want to hear. We must not prostitute our eyes into lying to ourselves to inflate our egos and let us be in denial about situations. Nor should we allow them to deflate our egos so that our self-esteem is lowered. We do not want to live our lives unfulfilled and waste 40 years of it wandering through a desert of irrational fears.

An honest prostitute is the heroine of this Haftarah from Joshua 2:1-24. Joshua sends out two spies 39 years after he was one of the original 12 spies. The two seek refuge in the "bait eshah zonah ushema Rahchav" (the house of women of a harlot named Rahab). She hides and saves the two spies from the King of Jericho's soldiers. They promised her that when the Israelites invade Jericho she and her family would be spared. She hangs a red thread from her window to mark her home.

 Unlike the ten spies 39 years before, Rahab had faith in God's plan for the Israelites. She had heard tales of the Israelites' God helping to defeat their enemies. She knew about the Jews at Mt. Sinai, as well as hearing about their escape from Egypt. She had the same data, actually second hand data, that the original 10 defeatist spies had, yet she concluded that the Israelites would conquer her land of Canaan and she sided with them.

Joshua kept his spies' word and after the battle of Jericho gave Rahab choice land as a reward. A Midrash relates that Rahab married Salmon and gave birth to Boaz. Boaz married Ruth. Rahab was to become the great-great-grandmother of King David. Our first great king had maternal lineage of both harlotry and idolatry. Ruth was a convert with a soul full of faith and loving kindness. Rahab was a "hooker with a heart of gold" and the faith to match. The Talmud says she was one of the four most beautiful women in the Bible.

Thirty-nine years after the original spies went out, Joshua was to lead the now-matured Israelites with a positive attitude into Canaan. His two spies said, "Truly the Lord has delivered into our hands all the land; and moreover all the inhabitants of the land do melt away before us." Thirty-nine years of desert therapy cured us of our Grasshopper Syndrome. We lost our Marty Feldman-like bug eyes.
 
Shabbat Shalom:
Rabbi Arthur Segal
www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org
Via Shamash Org on-line class service
Jewish Renewal
www.jewishrenewal.info
Jewish Spiritual Renewal
Jewish Spirituality
Eco Judaism
Hilton Head Island, SC, Bluffton, SC, Savannah, GA


The SPIRITUALRENEWAL mailing list is hosted by Shamash: The Jewish Network.
Join Shamash's Groups on Facebook and LinkedIn.


To unsubscribe from the SPIRITUALRENEWAL list, click the following link:
&*TICKET_URL(SPIRITUALRENEWAL,SIGNOFF);


For other options go to: http://listserv.SHAMASH.ORG/