Thursday, November 11, 2010

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH DESTINATION WEDDINGS: CO-OFFICIATE: BLUFFTON, SC

 
RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH DESTINATION WEDDINGS: CO-OFFICIATE: BLUFFTON, SC
 
Jewish Spiritual Renewal: Derek Eretz Zuta + Rabbah: Shabbat 11/13/10
(aka Derech Eretz)
 
The JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL class list is hosted by Shamash: The Jewish Network a service of Hebrew College/Yeshiva

 
Shalom my dear Chaverim, Talmidim, v' Rabbanim:
 
We continue with our exploration into the Talmudic Tractates of Derek Eretz Zuta and Rabbah. (aka Derech Eretz Zuta, aka Derech Eretz Rabbah), For those new to the class, Baruch ha Ba! Welcome! You can access last week's class  at
 
 
So. together we continue:

TALMUD BAVLI TRACTATE DEREK

ERETZ ZUTA.

(aka Derech Eretz Zuta)

CHAPTER I.

1. The qualities of the sages are: Modesty, meekness, eagerness, courage,  bearing wrongs done to them,and being endeared to every one; submission to the members of their household, fear of sin, and judging every one according to his deeds.

In our last classes, we discussed Modesty , Humility,  Meekness, Eagerness , Courage and Bearing Wrongs Done To Us and Being Endeared to Every One.   Today I invite you to explore with me the middah, trait,  of  submission to the members of their household.

At first glance this quality of the sages seems to be absurd, especially to those of us with teenage children. But let us look how the sages deal with this middah, trait. The Talmud teaches that: "Whoever acquires a servant, it is as if he has acquired a master!" They go on to state that if the master has a pillow and the servant does not, the master must give the servant his pillow. The rabbis argue this in the Gemorah and conclude that a person with derek eretz, could not sleep well, with a pillow, knowing his servant was not sleeping well, with no pillow. Hence, by giving his pillow to the servant, both master and his servant sleep well. (Talmud Bavli Tractate Kiddushin 20a).

What we are discussing is the middah of selflessness. We are talking about putting the needs of others before our own puny wants and desires. It means truly understanding that our needs are always taken care of by God, and that we can put our needs aside to cater to our spouse, our children, and those working for us.

In fact Rabbi Israel Salanter, the father of the Mussar movement, discusses ''killing one's self'' in order to obtain the knowledge in Torah. What he is discussing is working on ego deflation. Ego, as I have written many times, Edges God Out and separates us from the Divine and our fellows.

So submission to the members of our household means that we are being , humble, or compliant,  lowering our needs to making others needs more important than ours. This brings about shalom bayit  , peace in the house. And our rabbis teach that if our house is not peaceful, we will have a difficult time ourselves being peaceful and productive in our work places, or in friendships. After all, is sacrificing peace in the house, worth  fighting over what movie to go out and see, or what restaurant to eat in? In fact to promote peace in the home is one of the very very few times that we can ''white lie.''

"He who loves his wife as himself, but honors her more than himself, is reassured that his home is based on underpinnings of peace (Talmud Bavli Tractate Yevamoth 62)." "Parental love should be impartial, one child must not be preferred to the other." [Talmud Bavli Tractate Shabbat 10b]. ''It is a father's duty not only to provide for his minor children, but also to take care of their instruction, and to teach his son a trade and whatever is necessary for his future welfare." [Talmud Bavli Tractate Kiddushin 29a]

 
With respect to our spouses and children, the obligations to love our fellows, are ever so greater. Jewish law specifically requires that we not create an atmosphere of excessive fear in the home and that we address our families in a quiet, gentle way (Talmud Bavli Tractate Gittin 6). Husbands are under special directive "not to bring tears" to one's wife (Talmud Bavli Bava Metzia 59). Even at a time when wife beating was a common, accepted and legal practice in both Christian and Moslem Europe, it was a grievous sin for Jewish men to treat their wives in such a manner. ( Shulchan Aruch Even Ha'Ezer 154:2 by Rabbi Caro's co-author, Rabbi Moshe Isserles). 
 
King Solomon sums up this quite well in Ecclesiastes 9:9 : ''Relish life with the spouse you love each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God's gift. It's all you get in exchange for the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one!''
 
We discuss exactly how to truly learn to get rid of selfishness, and ego,  through out the majority of chapters in   The Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal: A Path of Transformation for the Modern Jew  as well as in most chapters of A Spiritual and Ethical Compendium to the Torah and Talmud  .
 
 
What are your ideas about  submission to the members of your household  ? How does living a life filled with selflessness play a role in your spiritual life? How have you combated your desire to be selfish and selfseeking in  your relationships?
 
Next week, Baruch ha Shem, we will continue with Derek Eretz Zuta, 1:1. [Derech Eretz Zuta].

 For those who want a d'var Torah on Parasha Vayeitzei from 
 
 
Shabbat Shalom:
Rabbi Arthur Segal www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org
Via Shamash Org on-line class service
Jewish Renewal www.jewishrenewal.info
Jewish Spiritual Renewal
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Maker of Shalom (Oseh Shalom) help make us deserving of Shalom beyond all human comprehension!



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