CHAPTER V.
A SCHOLAR must not eat standingly, nor lick his fingers, nor yawn in presence of others. Talk little, laugh little, sleep little, indulge little in pleasure, say little "yea" and little "nay."
We start off with what is reminiscent of Emily Post's table manners. We see how the Talmud has rules for scholars, i.e. rabbis, and therefore they don't apply to what the rabbis called the am ha eretz, the common people. We have all watched enough movies about ancient times to see how people behaved when they ate. For rabbis, they expected more from each other.
First I need to remind you that for Judaism, the dinning table, has replaced the Holy Sacrificial Altar of the Temple. (Talmud Bavli Tractate Beracoth 55a). How we behave while eating was considered important, especially when everything we ate, we a gift from God. We must not be standing and eating on the run, so to speak. We need to settle ourselves, and prepare to give thanks to God for the food we are about to eat.
We are not to lick our fingers. This is not just a hygienic issue nor just a politeness issue. We are to learn to be satisfied with what we have. The Torah tells us to eat and be satiated and bless ...V'ochalto v'sovoto u'veirachto (Deut. 8:10).Licking our fingers can be construed that what we have received is not enough, and that we need every bit of morsel left on our fingers. Remember too, that at a Jewish table, one washes his hands both before and after he eats. And one blesses God with prayers after the meal as well.
Yawning is a non-controllable reflexive action. We have all done it and almost all in front of another. And we've apologized. But this verse is telling us not to yawn in front of another, when it is non-controllable. What we are being told is to be interested in what another person is saying when we are dinning with them. We discussed active listening in a part class.
The chapter continues with verse 5:2: ''Talk little, laugh little, sleep little, indulge little in pleasure, say little "yea" and little "nay."'' Pirkei Avot 1:15 teaches us to say little and do much. The more we say, the more we are likely to offend. The same is with laughter. There is a time and place for jovial behavior. Unless we are sitting with the dybbuk of Lennie Bruce it is better to keep our laughter under control.
The rabbis were against sloth. They knew that for most idle time was the yetzer ha ra's workshop. Sleeping the right amount of time, yes. Oversleeping and wasting one's day in bed was not a middot, trait, they wanted to foster.
The rabbis were not against pleasure. They want us to live happy joyous and free. Jewish meals and holiday dinners begin with wine. Passover seders have four full cups of wine per person in the order of the meal.(Talmud Yerushalmi Tractate Pesachim 10:1) For Purim, Rabbi Rava says one is commanded to get so drunk one cannot tell the difference between "Blessed be Mordechai..Barukh Mordekhai, and Cursed be Haman..Arur Haman (Talmud Bavli Tractate Megillah 7b).But the rabbis ask us not to overdo 'indulging' in pleasure. They want us to learn personal boundaries and limits.
In fact the rabbis, right after Rava's opinion tell us this story. Rabbah and R. Zeira got together for Purim Seudah (the feast on the afternoon of Purim). They got very drunk, and Rabbah got up and cut R. Zeira's throat (literally, Rabbah butchered him). The next day, Rabbah prayed on R. Zeira's behalf and brought him back to life. A year later, Rabbah asked, "Would you like to have Purim Seudah with me again this year?" R. Zeira replied, "One cannot count on a miracle every time." (Ibid. Megillah 7b) .
The Talmud teaches us to let our righteous yes be a yes, and our righteous no to be a no. (Talmud Bavli Tractate Bava Batra 49b). In this verse they are telling us to keeps our yeses and nays to a minimum, as they were concerned about vow making. They are teaching us again, that our lives, our outcomes, are not in control. Our best intentions to keep a yes, or a no, to another, can be thwarted. It is always best to say, if it be God's will, I will do such and such, or I will not do such and such.
Shabbat Shalom:
Rabbi Arthur Segal_
www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org_ (http://www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org/ )
Jewish Renewal_
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Maker of Shalom (Oseh Shalom) help make us deserving of Shalom beyond all human comprehension!
