Sunday, October 12, 2014

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: BLUFFTON SUN: HOLDING GRUDGES ONLY HURTS US: FORGIVENESS

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: BLUFFTON SUN: HOLDING GRUDGES ONLY HURTS US: FORGIVENESS; JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL

HARD AS IT IS, FORGIVENESS LETS GO OF HURTFUL ANGER

BLUFFTON SC SUN NEWSPAPER OCTOBER 1, 2014, PAGE 56A

Shalom and Peace:

We will continue to look in depth at some of the many verses held in common by Judaism and Christianity, and at the same time, understand their Jewish Rabbinical roots, especially with Yom Kippur starting on the evening of October 3, 2014.

Matthew 6:14-15 reads: ''For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will God forgive your trespasses. ''

Circa 500 years before Matthew, in the oral tradition of the Talmud, Rosh Hashanah 17a teaches: ''Only if you forgive others will God forgive you,'' and ''One who is merciful toward others, God will be merciful toward him ( Shabbat 151b).''

Forgiving is hard especially when one hasn't even apologized to us, or made amends. Forgiveness does not mean we become door mats. It does not mean that if someone killed a loved one, or 6 million loved ones, we should not want the justice system to punish them, and punish them severely. It does mean we let our anger go, as that only hurts us.

We all, before undergoing true spiritual renewal, teshuvah, have lists of people and the things that they've done to us. Some of these things may be horrible, but for the most part it is a lot of petty stuff. Yet, look at the power that we allowed these people and their actions to have over us. We became angry and bitter. We let this stand in the way of our happiness. Holding a grudge is a sin in Judaism, not because it hurts the source of our grudge, but because it hurts us.

We must rid ourselves of these resentments. Judaism believes in responding to hate or detraction with love. Do not wait until asked for forgiveness to forgive. With our list of resentments in our minds, hearts and souls, ask God to help us forgive everybody.

If we continue to have problems with one or two on our list, pray to God. Forgiveness is the opposite of holding a grudge and hating. Mind you, this is not to say that this person has been given a pass on doing teshuvah (making amends). That is between him and God, and maybe the courts, but it is out of our thoughts. Why keep someone in our head who is taking up room but not paying rent?

Rabbi Arthur Segal is an international lecturer, author, and teacher. Visit him at www.JewishSpiritualRenewal.org . Email at RabbiASegal@aol.com

RABBI DR ARTHUR SEGAL
www.JewishSpiritualRenewal.com/books www.FaceBook.com/Arthur.L.Segal www.FaceBook.com/RabbiArthurSegalJewishSpiritualRenewal www.RabbiArthurSegal.blogspot.com
Jewish Spiritual Renewal
Jewish Renewal
Jewish Spirituality
Hilton Head Island, SC; Bluffton, SC; Savannah, GA

REBBETZIN ELLEN SEGAL AND RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL

JEWISH WEDDINGS

JEWISH WEDDINGS OFFICIATED BY RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: TRADITIONAL, INTERFAITH, CO-OFFICIANT, DESTINATION

"One of the Joys of being a Rabbi," says Rabbi Arthur Segal," is working closely with the bride and groom and officiating at their wedding." He can do this with couples living near by or with couples having a destination wedding in the greater beautiful Hilton Head Island area.

Rabbi Arthur Segal helps develop a custom ceremony with the couple so that each word in the ceremony rings true to them. His ceremonies can range from the very traditional to what ever the couples desires. Rabbi opines that this is the couple's special day, and to treat each wedding as unique.

For those who are having an interfaith wedding, Rabbi takes special care to respect both traditions, again with total input from the couple. He will be pleased to co-officiate at weddings, using non-Trinitarian language.

Rabbi Arthur Segal also will do recommitment marriage ceremonies with the same care as he does weddings.

Rabbi will work closely with the wedding planer and/or caterer to make sure the wedding is seamless, and the bride and groom can totally enjoy themselves on their special day.

Rabbi Arthur Segal is available, and actually prefers, to be at the rehearsal, to ensure all is going smoothly, and to get to know the bridal party, and family, before the actual wedding day.

For those that wish to have a Ketubah, rabbi will work closely to make sure everyone's name has correct calligraphy on the document, in English and Hebrew, so the signing ceremony is flawless.

For a beautiful gallery of Ketubahs go to JudaicConnection.com (My couples receive a $15 shipping discount)

Rabbi Arthur Segal tries to limit his weddings to Hilton Head, SC, Bluffton, SC, Palmetto Bluff, SC, Savannah, GA, and Charleston, SC, but has been known to make himself available elsewhere, even out of the USA. He will also conduct weddings and recommitment ceremonies on cruise ships.

In keeping with Jewish ethics, if the couple resides in Rabbi Arthur Segal's town, Rabbi will ask, unless there are some special circumstances, if the couple has first asked the local pulpit rabbi to officiate.